So, one of the clubs at the high school where I teach hosted a Little Miss Spring Blossom pageant this morning. Pageants are definitely not my thing, but my daughter begged me. She is all about anything that involves hair, make-up, and a sparkly tiara. For the last week, she's talked about nothing but this "booty" pageant. She told her teachers. She told her tumbling coach. She told her friends. She told my friends. She was super excited all week long.
Fast forward to this morning. I fixed her hair and applied a little "makeup." Well, I primarily swept my makeup brushes across the applicable areas. She didn't know any different, and I didn't have a Jon-Benet Ramsey sitting in front of me. A win-win, and she felt like a princess.
When we got to the pageant, she found a friend from dance class. They played and danced back stage as they waited their turns. G never once whimpered or acted a bit shy. She was having fun. Until it was her turn...
As soon as her age group began to line up, I noticed she was no longer her usual confident, bubbly self. She put her fingers in her mouth and looked down. As we got to the stage entrance, she turned to me and said "I don't want to go out there, Mommy."
Great... Stage fright.
Are you kidding me? I got up at 6:45 a.m. on a Saturday morning so that you could do this, and now you're saying you don't want to do this???? You better put on your big girl panties and get your ass out there!!!
Relax. Before you call DHS on me, I only thought that. Briefly. For, like, a millisecond. Maybe even less.
I tried to encourage her. I walked with her all the way up to the stage. I held her hand. I tried to comfort her. You can do this, G! It's just like a dance recital.
Who was I kidding? No it wasn't. She had to go out on stage by herself and smile. Now that I think about it, I'd have been scared too. At least when she's dancing, she's there with her fellow dance students focusing on her dance steps. The audience is inconsequential.
But, standing on a stage and smiling is NOTHING like that. It's just you and the audience. All of them. Rows and rows of strangers. Some very big strangers. At least to a five year old.
Needless to say, she choked. I forced her out onto the stage where she proceeded to cover her face and cry. Although she was dressed in a pretty little Easter dress and sparkly sandals, she might as well have been naked. She was embarrassed. She stood there. She just cried. It broke my heart.
She was the prettiest girl in the place. And she had a snowball's chance in hell of actually winning anything.
When the winners were announced, the tears got even worse. Only they weren't from G. Her brother, E, my sweet, sensitive son had a complete meltdown. He was so upset that his sister didn't win. I thought they would have to remove him from the building. Luckily he's only six because most of the audience found it endearing. I imagine if he were older, things would have gone much differently for Mr. Competitive Britches. We're going to have to work on his sportsmanship...
After his hysterical performance, G got a bit upset too. She cried again. She wanted a trophy. Again, my heart ached. This was my baby girl's first taste of defeat. And I didn't like it one stinking bit.
Lord, I pray she won't ask to do another one. I do not make a very good pageant mom. And I certainly don't want to see that side of her again. That side that lacked confidence and spirit. I much prefer the sassy little diva that runs our house and orders her daddy around like a servant.
Some may disagree,
See, I told you I don't make a good pageant mom. Rest assured. You will not be seeing G on an upcoming episode of Toddlers & Tiaras.
3 comments:
Awwww...poor little thing. She is gorgeous. Hopefully you won't have to go through this again.
That poor baby. She's so beautiful she'd definitely would have won. I hope she's feeling better now. I agree with you on the whole "beauty pagant" thing. They shouldn't let girls so young participate, or if they did, it should be all natural.
I've always had the opinion that little girls should look like little girls. Make-up is for those of us who have reached the age we need a little help.
I also think it questionable to put make-up on very young girls who are in cheering competitions, etc. I mean, what is achieved by a fresh-faced little girl looking like a tart?
My daughter has always complained about some kids looking older than she does. Thing is, those people will ALWAYS look older and it stops being an asset right around 30.
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