How do I know, you ask? Well, I was recently in the company of someone who was apparently fond of the fragrance. We were close. To be honest, she had me cornered. We were close enough that I had to hold my breath. I began to turn blue. I nearly died from asphyxia. All the while, I thought to myself OhMyEffin'Word! Can someone please throw in a Febreze-filled bomb? I'm suffocating here. Finally, when I could take it no longer, I ran for my life! Literally.
I do not understand why people walk around like that. Seriously! You can give me that speech about the ills of poverty or "to each his own," but give me an effin' break. Even the homeless missions have soap! Hell, every gas station in America has a restroom with hand soap and paper towels. We do have options.
What makes matters worse is the fact that this person did not appear to be in a dire situation. I don't know her personally, but we were both in an establishment that operates for a profit. It provides a service that costs money. She was able to afford it. She was driving a fairly new vehicle talking on a cell phone, too. I'm fairly certain she did not get a free car on the Oprah Show. And, as far as I know, Verizon isn't a philanthropic organization.
Soap and deodorant are NOT luxury items. It is 250 degrees outside, for crying out loud. Body odors only intensify in these conditions. The funk only becomes funkier in this kind of heat. Add the moisture from the humidity, and you've got a certified funkalicious brew where no rodent dares to tread.
Lady at The Place, if you happen to be reading this, do everyone a favor and take a shower!
