Definitely His Mother's Son

My nearly 6 year old LOVES Christmas!  Remember last year when he stood outside with a box full of his toys trying to give them away to all the passerbys?  He loves to give gifts nearly as much as he loves receiving them.  It's quite sweet, actually, but can become an addiction if we aren't careful.

Take this week, for instance.  The PTO at his school hosted a "Santa's workshop" full of junk.  The kids were given an opportunity to shop for presents.  For a price, of course.  A very steep price, to be exact.  He was very excited about it, though, so I gave him $20 on Monday with instructions to buy presents for his family.

When I picked him up from school after his shopping excursion, he couldn't wait to get home to wrap them.  Not only did he buy gifts for our family, he bought them for a few of his friends.  Oh, and one for himself.  The entire ride home, he talked about how much fun it was going to be to do it again the following day.

Oh, no sir!  You've done all the shopping in that store of junk Santa's workshop that you are going to do!

No way in hell was I going to give him more money for that place.  For twenty bucks, he came home with a plastic rat (no lie...a damn plastic rat for his uncle.  Sorry, Beeg), a "Greatest Dad" hat, an "I Love Mom" stuffed bear, sparkly compact mirror, and a Santa bell necklace.  The damn PTO ought to be ashamed of themselves!  Taking advantage of poor little 5 and 6 year olds like that...  $20 for a few Dollar Tree trinkets??   If you need money, just ask.  Don't peddle junk to unsuspecting kids.  Shame on you!

But I guess it was more about the joy he received from it.  Right?!?  Oh, and when I told him I wouldn't give him any money, he replied with "If you don't have any money, Mom, they will take a debit card."  Really?!?!  Did the PTO actually advertise that fact? 



No, no, NO!  You are very sweet to be so giving, but we can't spend all our money on gifts for others.  (I felt bad for that comment as soon as it came out of my mouth.)

Little Mr. Determination never, ever takes "no" for an answer, and this time was no exception.  Instead, he robbed his own piggy bank.  Since he just had his birthday party and received several monetary gifts, that bank was fresh on his mind.  Before school, he grabbed another $20 and put it in his pocket.  When I picked him up, he had another big bag of loot.  He was too excited or else he'd have realized that he probably should have hidden it from me.  "Look, Mom!" with the biggest grin you've ever seen.

Oh, where did you get all that Sweetie?

"Daddy gave me some money!"

Really?  Well, I'm going to have a little talk with him!  I hate to admit that I actually believed that story.  I was furious with my husband because he is such a passive parent.  Anything to keep them from screaming.  As I pulled out my cell phone to rip Mr. OCD a new one, I saw the panic in my little darling's eyes.

"Okay, Mom.  I'll tell you the truth.  I got money out of my piggy bank.  I took one with a twenty on it.  Are you going to tell Daddy?  Is he going to spank me?" 

When I told his daddy, I was shocked at his response.  I was expecting him to hit the ceiling and freak out as usual.  I anticipated that I'd have to talk him out of a full-blown tirade.  After all, I'm usually the voice of reason in our family.  That's what I do. 

Instead?  Mr. OCD just laughed and said, "Well, he's his mother's son, isn't he?"

E showing off the goods.

Uggghhh...  I hate when he's freakin' right!

A Two 'Fer - Anniversaries and Bad Neighbors

Today's our anniversary.  It's been 8 years.  We'd planned on celebrating very quietly with no children.  My son stayed the night with a friend.  G was supposed to have a babysitter.  As is typical of our luck, the sitter fell through and yet another anniversary will go by with minimal recognition.

In all honesty, it doesn't bother me.  Terribly.  Yes, I'd love for us to spend more quality time together.  Not necessarily on our anniversary.  Any night would do.  I knew having kids would be hard work.  I had no idea how much it would change our lives, though.  Neither of us is the type to just leave our kids with anyone.  We are quite particular, as a matter of fact, which is why we NEVER go anywhere alone.

Maybe we can spend some time alone together when E and G are 10 or 11 years old.  I hope so.  I'm holding out hope that anniversary #13 will be much better.

On a side note, my neighbor is a freakin' loon!  She is certifiable!  I know there are probably people who read this that know who I'm talking about, but I don't give a damn.  I call 'em like I see 'em.  She's crazy.  Or a desperate woman with a crack addiction.  Either way, she gets on my last nerve.  As do her damn kids!

Take this morning, for example.  I am taking a shower when I hear my husband talking to someone.  From the conversation, I was fairly certain it was not one of our kids.  Curious, I got out of the shower to find the little girl from next door.  She just walked through our front door and into my bedroom!  Without knocking or anything!  Just came on in and cruised around the house looking for my kids!

Oh, and I must add that she is far too old to be playing with my young children any way.  She's 9; my oldest is only 5.  Every time she plays in our house, she destroys the place.  Literally.  The last time she was over, she took every toy in the playroom and threw it down the stairs.  There was so much stuff blocking the door at the bottom of the stairs, my kids couldn't get out.  However, I won't allow my kids over her house anymore because my husband caught one of the son's smoking dope in the garage when my daughter was over there.  I believe it's time for the 9 year old to smoke dope with find friends her own age.  Period.

Back to the crazy mama...  For the last 2-3 days, she's been coming over asking for money.  She claims her older daughter "graduated" from John Casablanca Modeling school (i.e. they forked out a bunch of money for some minimum wage worker to take pictures of her dressed like a hooker.)  With graduation comes some sort of contest or something.  Hell, I don't know.  The only part I heard was "we need money."

Mr. OCD, because he has no backbone, keeps telling her that he doesn't have any cash on him.  This statement only perpetuates the problem because she's coming back daily in hopes that he'll have cash.  She hasn't asked me.  Maybe because I won't answer the door when she knocks.  Or maybe because I quickly shut the garage door when she sees me coming home.  Regardless, I've not been asked for money.

I almost want her to ask me.  Perhaps all is playing out according to God's plans, though.  Maybe God is trying to keep me out of the penitentiary and out of the depths of hell.  Lord knows it would be very hard for me to refrain from chasing her off my porch swinging a big a baseball bat. 

She better start feeding those kids instead of paying for modeling lessons.  Or crack.  Or whatever it is she spends her money on.  It's definitely not her wardrobe or hair, but I'll save that for a later post.