I hate the New Year. Really, I hate New Year's resolutions. I always feel like such a failure because I can never stick to them. But not making a resolution makes me feel like a failure, too. Every year it's the same old thing. I give up chocolate, then Easter comes along. I start exercising, then I get bored or too busy. I start eating more veggies, then I get gassy. Blah, blah, blah...
My mom used to always give up ice skating on Howard Avenue. Since I grew up on the Gulf Coast where it rarely ever snows much less gets iced over, she was able to stick to her resolution. I always considered it a lame attempt at not making a resolution at all. Why bother?!?!
Yet here I sit here agonizing. Maybe my attempts are even sillier. Who freakin' cares, really?!? Why do I get so anxious? Why am I such a psycho about having a resolution? When did I become so dogmatic about things?!? Maybe I'm just OCD.
Regardless, I am in a funk because of the whole New Year's resolution thing. I don't want to feel like a failure, but what is the alternative? I guess I could start with a more positive attitude. That would be great and all, but after 40 years of failing it's kind of hard.
Maybe I could change the terminology. The word resolution is so...definitive. I looked it up in the dictionary for some synonyms. The alternatives like resolve, determination, perseverance, tenacity; strength, fortitude seemed even more forceful. Unfortunately, try really hard, but it's okay if you fail does not define the term. My conundrum prevails.
Ugghhh... I think a lack of sunlight is affecting my brain, and I'm suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Hey, I have an idea for a New Year's resolution... Why don't I resolve to move to Aruba. It's not called One Happy Island for nothing!
6 years ago

