Though my charity resume pales in comparison, my diva-ishness does not. I do have my limits, people! Here are just a few of the things I absolutely, positively will NOT do:
- Meat without the FDA or USDA stamp of approval.
- Housework, yard work, or any other kind of work for which I receive no compensation (including bedroom work).
- Bra-less.
- Speed limits.
- Thongs.
- Bikini waxes.
- Secrets. (If you don't want anyone else to know, do NOT tell me.)
- Yard sales, thrift stores, or discount department stores like T.J. Maxx. (I need organized. My ADD will have me in a place like that for hours. touching everything. Why am I here again???)
- Non-alcoholic cocktails. I drink for one reason only, and it's not the taste.
- Mushy, lovey-dovey, he's-hot-she's-not chick flicks. *barf*
- Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, Biggest Loser, American Idol, Extreme Makeover, or Dancing with the Stars. *double barf* (1) Girls can't be that tight without being catty; 2) pathetic, pathetic, pathetic; 3) fat people and poor folks get all the luck; 4) I don't even listen to the radio; 5) how about someone give me five gazillion dollars to fix up my house; and 6) those washed up stars should have done a better job managing their money so it wouldn't be necessary to resort to such despicable means for exposure!)
- Small talk or chit-chat with folks I don't know.
- Rapists, pedophiles, serial killers, or meth cookers.
- Road trips lasting longer than 5-6 hours.
- 4 a.m. workouts (or any other thing at 4 a.m.).
Well, that was fun and liberating! And here I was thinking I would do just about anything. Apparently not! Call me a diva, a tight ass, a bi-otch, a snob...just don't call me Mom! I hear enough of that already...
What about you? What's your list include??? With my circle of friends, I know I'm not the only diva in the bunch.
'Fess up, sisters!
