I am NOT doing freakin' homework over the summer!
Both of my kids' teachers sent home workbooks and lists of a gazillion assignments to be done over the summer. Immediately, I tossed them in the corner bookcase in our dining room. In other words, the abyss never to be seen again because we don't actually use the dining room.
Crap, wait a minute... No wonder Mississippi is near the bottom of the educational success ladder. But, seriously. Is it necessary to do all those worksheets??? I think not.
Instead, I've developed creative ways for my children practice the requisite educational standards and demonstrate academic mastery. Because I'm an excellent parent like that, I thought I share a few of my ingenious strategies with the lay people. Now some may require a great deal of expertise, but do your best. K???
Math. It is a discipline in which many children struggle. As a math teacher, I know all too well how easily they forget over the summer. Consequently, I incorporate problem-solving and math skills in most of our interactions. Here are just a few scenarios demonstrating how I do what I do:
- Me: G, please pick up that mess. G, I need you to clean up your mess! 1...2... I mean it, when I get to 3 you better have that mess cleaned up or else!
- E: Are we almost there yet? Me: No, we have about four more hours. *three minutes later* E: Now are we almost there? Me: No, we still have about four hours to go. E: How much do I have to count before we are there? Me: Well, there are 60 seconds in an hour which is 60 minutes. That means 3,600 per hour times 4 hours. That's...um...14,400. You have to count to 14,400. E: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...Mom, what comes after 109?
- G: What's that sign say, Mommy? Me: It says "If you pee in the pool, you will get kicked out and arrested by that Life Guard."
- Me in the check out line at the grocery store: Damn, I forgot the butter! E, will you go get the butter for Mama? E staring back with a deer-in-headlights expression: What? What is butter? Me: It is that stuff we put on toast. It's in the big yellow tub in the refrigerator. Country Crock. On aisle 13. (Notice the cross-curriculum activity. Brilliant, I know.)
- G in Macy's: Mommy, what does that sign say? Me: No running, or you will get a ticket! G: What about that one? Me: Use your inside voice, or you will go to jail!
Writing. This one can be tricky especially with young children. However, throw in some markers and voila! They can't stop writing! On everything.
- Me just before company arrives: G!!!!! Did you write on my table with that marker??? (She's my little over-achiever. She loves to write! With marker.)
- And need I remind you of E's cartoon depicting the ways he'd get rid of his sister? While a bit demented and messy, it was a wonderful exercise in creative writing.
Spelling. This is my
- Me to Mr. OCD: You need to quit talking about S-E-X in front of the kids! G: What does that spell, Mommy? Sssss...eeee... (as she tries to sound it out) Me: Um...Santa, baby. We're talking about Christmas.
- Me to Mr. OCD: Should I let him S-W-I-M today?? E: Please, Mom. I want to go swimming! (I've got to admit; he's pretty sharp for a six year old.)
- G reading my grocery list: What does V-O-D-K-A spell? What is that? Me: Oh, never mind that. Mommy just needs to get her allergy medicine.
