Is this Rock Bottom?

I'm not sure, but I think I've finally reached rock bottom.  My addiction has taken me to a new level of low.  I never, ever thought my life would come to this.  Yet here I am.  Feeling guilty while justifying my actions at the same time.  Rock bottom is a weird state of mind, though.  I don't feel like I'm ready to stop.  I just feel dirty and a little uneasy.

I skipped my weekly Jenny Craig appointment.  In fact, I've skipped it for the past three weeks.  That addiction is starting to cost way more financially than I'm wanting to pay.  Besides, the exhiliration I used to get isn't there anymore.  It's more like drudgery with a pinch of anxiety.  No more euphoria; just dread.  A little bit of my soul is crushed with each subsequent visit.  I'm afraid the thrill is gone.

Now I find myself engaging in risky behaviors in search of a cheaper, quicker fix.  I want to lose weight, but I don't want to spend a lot of money doing it.  And the regular ol' way (i.e. hard work and exercise) just isn't as fulfilling.  It takes too long!  My ADD won't let me stay focused.

Last week, I had the Lipotropic injection to help with weight loss and energy.  It's a shot of B12 and some other stuff that is supposed to increase your metabolism and break down fatty acids.  Last week, I went to a reputable place run by real professionals.  The office was beautiful, the nurses were knowledgeable, and their credentials were visibly displayed all over the place.  Unfortunately, this nice place is closed on Saturdays. 

OH NO!!!!!

All was not lost, however.  There is another office that offers the same injections, and it's closer to my house and a little cheaper.  I was a bit hesitant at first because the hours of operation seemed a bit "off."  The Podunk Medical Weight Loss Clinic is open on Mondays from 3 p.m. until 7 p.m., on Tuesdays from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m., and on Saturdays from 9 a.m. until 1 p.m.  What kind of doctor's office has hours like that??  Sounds like a doctor who's trying to hide from the F.B.I. and the A.T.F.

I felt a bit uneasy again when I discovered the location.  It is in a very small strip mall tucked between an Asian nail salon, a check cashing liquor store, and a Cricket phone store.  Suffice it to say that if my OB-GYN moved to a location of this sort, I'd never grace his stirrups with my presence again.  I was desperate, though.  I needed my weekly Lipotropic injection!

It only got worse from there.  When I entered the office, I was greeted by a nice lady and 14 fatties patients.  The waiting room was a bit small with undressed, paneled walls that were painted in a pukey beige color.  No clock, no fake Van Gogh, no office signage...NOTHING!  The chairs were metal.  There were no magazines or informative brochures.  Just a bunch of fat chicks patients sitting on some metal chairs.

As I took my seat, I overheard the receptionist speaking with another potential client.  I wasn't sure what they were talking about, but I did hear, "Cash only!"  WTF?!?  Who carries cash in the United States?  I couldn't even tell you who is on the ten dollar bill!  Pathetic, I know, but I can describe my debit card in great detail.

Lucky for me, she was merely explaining that the clinic does not accept insurance.  Yes, ma'am.  We'll accept your debit card.

Praise Jesus!

When the "nurse" called me back, I got that uneasy feeling again.  She didn't look like any nurse I'd ever seen.  She was dressed in street clothes with a lab coat thrown over it.  She could have easily passed for a painter, but definitely not a nurse.  Also, she weighed about 500 pounds as did several of the other ladies in the office.  I wanted to ask her why she wasn't doing the shots, but I was scared she'd kill me.  She was a big one!

Although I had to fill out this lengthy medical history form, I seriously doubt she ever looked at it.  These shots affect a person's liver.  My mother died from liver disease.  I noted it on the form.  She never asked me a single question. 

Don't worry; I know I don't have liver disease.  My mom contracted it from a blood transfusion.  However, the nurse NEVER ASKED ME ANYTHING ABOUT IT!  Instead, she took my vitals.  Puh-leeez, you'll kill me with a lethal injection but you want to make sure my blood pressure isn't elevated?!?!  Then she led me to a little room wear I was told to drop my shorts.  I'm not even sure that the needle was clean!  I never saw her take it out of any packaging!  I did see her dispose of it in one of those little HAZARD containers on the wall, though.  Let's pray that it was, in fact, sterile.

The injection site has been a little itchy, but I didn't have any other immediate side effects.  When I left, I couldn't help but feel like I needed a shower.  The place wasn't literally dirty, but it was dirty nonetheless. 

One thing is certain.  I am addicted to weight loss!  I will go to great lengths to achieve it.  Any dealer claiming to show immediate weight loss results is on my speed dial. 

I know how a crack whore feels now...