I HATE talking on the phone. Honestly, I'd rather have a limb removed with no anesthesia! It's not that I don't like people. I DO! And it's not that I don't like to talk. Hell, anyone who knows me has to know better than that. I don't intentionally avoid people or their phone calls. I just hate to talk on the phone!
Please don't get offended if I don't call you as much as you'd like. Furthermore, I hope your feelings aren't hurt if you call and I don't call back. I don't have an answering machine for that very reason. If I don't have a message, it's like I didn't miss any calls. If I don't answer my cell phone, it's probably because I can't find the darn thing. I usually leave it in my purse which is usually left in my car or on the dryer in the laundry room too far from ear shot. By the time I see the missed called, three days have passed and...well...I don't like talking on the phone!
That is exactly why Facebook is my new best friend. I don't actually have to talk to anyone to communicate with them. It's great! I post a message; you respond. You post a message; I respond. K? K! Or if you'd rather email, I'm totally up for that. Of course, I have 400 email accounts, some of which I cannot even remember my password, so I'm not as quick to respond. However, I will eventually get back to you. Hopefully, you've survived the surgery and DHS has returned your kids.
My husband, on the otherhand, is
a nosey ass the exact opposite. I call him "Quick Draw" sometimes.
I'm talking about his cell phone, perv! I nearly broke things off when we were dating because it annoyed the heck out of me that he'd spend half our time together answering that damn phone. Lucky for him, I had the total HOTS for him! And back at my corporate job, it annoyed the heck out of me to hear one of those admin assistants talking on the phone in an adjacent stall of the ladies room. I would purposefully flush when they paused.
Who does that kind of shit??? Who is so damn important that their secretary MUST answer the phone while defecating??? Needless to say, the phone is an evil necessity that I only have because I'm scared I'll get hungry and not feel like picking up the pizza.
This brings me to a solemn observation. One day when my kids are grown and my husband is
living with a stripper dead from being worked down (God love him), I will be all alone. Just me and Facebook. The neighbors will notice the strong smell of death before anyone realizes I'm gone. They'll find me petrified in my rolly computer chair. Hands on the keyboard. Facebook on the web browser. Cell phone sitting close by with 50 missed calls. From Domino's regarding the latest daily specials.
