Godloverzilla Has "Health Issues"

The drama continues. If you haven't already done so, check out my previous post to catch up.  I'm talking about dance drama.  Even the idea of the biggest can of whoop-ass doesn't seem satisfying right now.  I can't help but feel bad for Mrs. C, my daughter's dance teacher.  As kind and patient as she is, I'm sure she'll be much better off without this thorn in her side.  I can only imagine how stressful it is to work with a psycho a loon a re-re a junkie a wreck a hot mess someone so unorganized and unprofessional. 

This is the email I received from the owner of the dance studio where G was taking dance.  Of course, I couldn't post it without my interpretation.  Call me evil, but that heifer is playing with my emotions!  And my money! 

Dear Parents,

We are sending this mail with a heavy heart...  I never got any good news in an email that started off with this statement. 


The economic downturn has affected everyone and the studio is no exception. There is simply not enough income versus expenses. We have sustained as long as we could but now find ourselves with no other choice: as of may 28th the studio is closing and we have to cancel the recital scheduled for next saturday, june 5th.  First off, if you want your audience to believe that you are such a consummate professional, it would probably be a good freakin' idea to capitalize the months of the year!  Oh, and what's with the random colon???  End your sentence with a period, genius, or use a dash.  I couldn't even joke about the content due to the grammatical distractions!  I will add, though, that "economic downturn" basically means "my wife mismanaged your money." 


We have gotten to the point where over half of our students are on scholarship. This coupled with recent health problems that A has been battling drives us to the closing and cancellation.  I've yet to meet a single individual on scholarship, nor have I suspected any student of being indigent enough to receive scholarship funding.


We will be going through the records and determining who has paid for costumes and how much, and who has pre-paid for tickets and how much. We will be refunding these to you as quickly as possible as we reconcile with the costume company and the naval center.  If you haven't ordered our costumes, then what needs to be reconciled with the costume company???  I suspect costume company is code word for "casino."  As for the center, she booked the recital and changed the dates.  Regardless of the "settlement," I am not responsible for the amount she owes them.


We have loved the time spent with your children and you and will miss you greatly. I wish it would have turned out differently, but I have found the Lord does not make mistakes. This is a very difficult time and we appreciate your prayers as we continue to pray for you all.  Yea, they are tight with the Lord.  I can only imagine it's pretty hard to get much praying done at the ball field, though.  According to a fellow studio mom, she saw the owner recently at a AAA ball game looking healthy and having a great time.  I wonder if "fraud" is among the sins that will get you banned from the big party upstairs??


Due to A's aforementioned health issues, if you have any questions please contact H at...  She didn't even have the nerve to send the email herself.  Maybe the rumors of her pill-popping are true.  Maybe "health issue" is code for drug addiction.  Maybe she was too sauced to type an email so her husband took over.  Maybe the little guys in the white coats carrying a stretcher and 4-point restraints dropped her off at the nervous hospital.  
 
I need to start reading Tarot cards or tea leaves for a living.  I totally saw this coming!  Of course, the signs were all written in NEON!

It's a good thing I wear my Big Girl Panties, or I'd be smearing her name all over the internet.  Oh, wait...well, um...she freakin' deserves it!