I admire your ability to get up and jog before the sun comes out. Really, I do. Faithfully every morning, you are jogging along my street. Against traffic. In the dark. Wearing dark clothing.
Imagine this running towards your vehicle in the dark. Scares the Bujeezes out of me!
Have you lost your ever-loving mind, woman?? Seriously! I've nearly plowed you down on two different occasions because I could not see you. It was dark. You were wearing black, for Christ's sakes! Are you crazy?!
If not, let me introduce you to Crazy. Hi, I'm LB. I drag my butt out of bed every morning before dawn so I can get to the gym by 5:30 a.m. If you knew me at all, you would know that my body is not fully functioning until about 8:30-ish. You'd also know that I'm pretty pissed about the idea of getting up so early; however, my big fat ass pisses me off even more. I've got blurred vision from the sleep boogers in my eyes, and I'm running about 5 minutes late. Definitely NOT the best time for us to cross paths. Consequently, I beg of you to consider just a few minor changes before your morning run tomorrow.
First, for your own safety, please, please, PLEASE jog with the traffic like everyone else does. In addition, I would greatly appreciate some brighter clothing. The slimming effects of black are really not necessary when you are facing DEATH! Try a white tee and some cute pink running shorts. Get a pair of cute running shoes with reflectors while you're at it.
If you will agree to the aforementioned changes, I will gladly be sure to clear my eyes of all gunk before leaving the house.
Yours Truly,
LB (aka Crazy)
1 comment:
Sounds like she has a death wish!
I can't believe you go to the gym at 5:30 am! That's what I need to do but I'm just too lazy.
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Am I right, or what?