Growing up, church was not a big deal at my house. Oddly, being Catholic was a very big deal. Going to church and actually practicing Catholicism? Not so much. My family went to church for funerals, weddings, and the occasional holiday.
As a teen, I went with much more frequency because I practically lived with my cousins. We went to mass either Saturday evening or Sunday morning. Every Week. Or face the wrath of Uncle Pat, a devout Catholic and a very big man. He was my godfather as well as my uncle. I think he felt personally responsible for ensuring that I not become a certified heathen. Hell, no one else was concerned much. Thank God for him. He's gone now, but I appreciate that he loved me enough to make sure my ass was in that pew each week.
In college, I lost my religion. And my mind. Alcohol and parties and cute frat boys with no name. Many of you have been there and know exactly what I mean. Do I need to elaborate??? Lord, I hope not. Some skeletons are better left in the closet.
Marriage and the trials we faced while trying to start a family brought me back to God. And back to church.
I've often heard people say that church is not necessary for a relationship with God. They may be right. I used to feel the same way. I didn't mean it, though. I didn't really know what a relationship with God entailed.
Sure, I prayed. I prayed that my boyfriend wouldn't leave me. I prayed that my perm would relax before school picture day. I prayed that I'd make the cheerleading squad. I prayed for that new job. I prayed that I wouldn't get pulled over as I sped through town. Yep, I thought the Big G and I were tight like that.
But let me tell you what I get from going church that I didn't get from all that "praying." I get my mind and heart right for the upcoming week. For the one hour that I sit and listen to the sermon, I really, REALLY listen to the message. And each time, it seems that my pastor wrote the sermon just for me. As if he knows exactly what I did or did not do. It's as though God is speaking directly to me through him. Relax, I'm not hearing voices. I just have a guilty conscience, I think.
I also take that opportunity to reflect on the previous week. What could I have done differently? What will I do the next time I'm faced with a similar situation? Am I really a good Christian?
I know this post is a bit different from my usual crazy-as-hell rantings. No, I've not been kidnapped by aliens nor have I joined the Heaven's Gate commune. I've just been out of sorts lately. Irritable and pissy. I've been bitching and moaning and carrying on about anything and everything. I've been self-absorbed and negative. And, until today, had not been to church in nearly a month.
I wouldn't be having these thoughts right now if it weren't for a recent conversation with a friend. I don't know how the topic of church came about, but he stated that going to church each week helped him stay on the right path. Were it not for Sundays, he'd forget his purpose.
Needless to say, I went to church today. I'm glad I did. At this moment, my mind and heart are in the right place. Maybe that's why the week technically begins on Sunday?
By Friday, I'm sure my Christianity will be out the window because someone or something will get on my last damn nerve. I'll be ready to rip someone's head off. Thankfully, I can get my mind right again next Sunday.
Amen!
6 years ago
4 comments:
WOW!!! I don't even know what to say. Because like you, when I was young, I was MADE to go to church... So, I didn't get as much out of it as I should/could have.... & I believed, that if I believed in God & I prayed, that that was enough. I/we don't even go on the holidays that much anymore... It seems that there's always something "more important" to do. But, when I/we do go, I feel so wonderful afterwards and have so much of a better outlook on life that I feel somewhat... at peace & that I can deal with what life throws at me. So... THANK YOU! for that brick you've thrown & hit me in the head with!!!! DUH!!!!! Go to church!!! REGULARLY!!!! And I'll be able to keep that wonderful outlook on life & be able to deal with life's everyday mess!!! (at least through most of the week)... until I can get recharged on Sunday. And I'm so sorry about your Mom!, but your blogs timing couldn't have come at a better time, because I made a promise to myself, this week actually, that I'd make EVERY effort to call my Mom & my Dad at least every other day, if not every day...just to see how they are & let them know how we are. I'm so dissapointed in myself that I haven't made more of an effort to see & talk to them. We talk several times a week & I probably only see them about once a month... That's REDICULOUS! I'm only in Ocean Springs!!!! But sometimes I... let life get in the way & don't make time for the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE!!! MY PARENTS & GOD!!! So, again, I say, THANK YOU! I just hope that I will keep these promises to myself, my parents, & now thanks to you, to God. What's even more sad... the church that we go to, is less than 5 miles away!!! & several of Christian's friends & teachers are members. I want to kick myself in the butt right now!!! I want, need & hope to follow through & make good on the promises I've made today. Thanks for a VERY eye opening blog!!! I'm hoping I can make it to the class reunion this summer & I'm REALLY looking forward to catching up with friends that I've lost touch with!!!
Many reasons exist for a person's reluctance to attend church. Some people (especially those with no religious background at all) are overwhelmingly intimidated by the thought of not knowing ANYTHING about God or a certain denomination when they walk through the doors of a church. It's not fun to feel stupid.
And sadly, some non churchgoers know a few Christians who are professing right-and-left but have no idea how off-putting their "Christian" behavior is to others. I'm not talking about a Christian who may commit a sin here and there. I'm talking about those people who seem to pop up in every social circle who just emanate a "holier-than-thou" attitude. Their pores scream, "Back off! You're not a part of this elite circle!" Their actions are better than yours, their kids are better than yours and they make no move to help others reach any sort of higher plane. At first, you think, "Oh, it's just me. There's nothing wrong with that person. I'm just more of a sinner." But then you meet other people who are totally repelled by this person or family. On the other hand, I've been around very devout Christians who were at ease around those who may not be just like them. Those are the people who lead others to faith.
Church is important, I agree. Church is important on an individual level, but people who come together in a church get things done in the name of Jesus through various ministries. We can all study the Word and teachings at home. A single man on a deserted island can come to God. But the power of more than one sincere Christian can move mountains. In Savannah, GA, The First African Baptist Church likely was the beginning of the oldest African American congregation in America. The original church was built by both freed and enslaved African Americans after they toiled in the fields all day. These people had little to no resources, but they recognized the power of many. It was the first brick building owned by African Americans in the state of Georgia. This congregation is going strong today.
Many people don't get to church every Sunday. And even if they get there every Sunday, making a warm spot in the pew is not really the point. Investment in the church goals, whether through financial resources, time or sharing skills, is just as important in making sure the Church is enduring.
From Laurie Lockard: I totally agree with Anonymous. Great comment
Kathy, don't kick yourself in the butt. If your church is anything like mine, they'll just be glad to see you.
Anonymous, I totally agree with everything you said. I have to say I was once put off by some "Christians" because I felt inferior. It may or may not have been anything they said or did. It may have just been my own insecurities about a relationship with God. Thankfully for me, I found a church that is accepting of ALL God's people, especially those who are wounded and less than perfect.
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