There! I said it. Admitting is the first step, right? But the first step to what? What exactly, pray tell, am I to do???
Last year, on a few occasions, I caught my six year old, sweet little E, taking things that did not belong to him. In fact, I had practically forgotten about his felonious activities from last summer. Check it out! Go ahead; I'll wait.
Trying so hard to be an understanding and compassionate mother, I tried to explain to him that we do not take what is not ours without permission. And each time, he replied with, "I'm sorry, but I really wanted it." After explaining further that we don't always get what we want, the conversation would always end with him looking so sweet and sincerely apologetic.
Don't do it again, Son.
"Okay, Mama. I'm sorry."
Lately he's been "finding" things with more frequency. At a birthday party, I caught him trying to stuff one of the birthday boy's gifts down his pants. I was mortified. This was the second such incident at a birthday party. His daddy took him to the restroom for a little "counseling."
Then today he started a new after-school camp at his new elementary school. When I arrived to pick him up this afternoon, he told me that he had a surprise for his sister. There I was, with a line of people behind me, signing him out and trying to pacify him. Okay, Sweetie. That's very nice of you to think of her. Without even considering where said surprise actually came from.
Until we got to the car. And he started unloading all the trinkets in his backpack. First he pulled out some little McDonald's doll for his sister. "Here G. This is one of the ones you don't have. Now you only need to get the Lemon girl."
My first thought??? Awwww, how sweet! Isn't he the sweetest brother EVER? Quickly, though, I was suspicious seeing as 1.) I hadn't taken him to McDonald's that day, 2.) he certainly didn't have any money for McDonald's, and 3.) where the hell could he have acquired that toy without money or transportation???
Before I could start my interrogation regarding the acquisition of little Miss Lemon Meringue, he pulled something else out of his backpack. Like a damn magician. Poof! A big, purple VW Beetle with peace signs covering it. Clearly someone's toy. Definitely NOT his.
Where did that come from, Son?
"Oh, I found it on the stage."
What do you mean you found it on the stage? Where on the stage?
"Yea, it was just laying on the ground."
Well, I don't believe it was just laying around belonging to no one. Does it belong to the camp? Something that big is not going to be laying around on the stage without anyone noticing it.
"No, I swear. It was just sitting on the ground."
At this point, I'm starting to get pissed because I realize that he took the items from the camp toy supply. You march yourself right back in there and give those things back to the camp counselors! Now!
As he is climbing out of my van, he pulls yet another toy out of his backpack. A small super hero figurine. "Um, okay... I found this one too, Mama. I'll just give them all to the teacher. I just forgot to put them up before going home. Sorry."
Not only is he a klepto, but he also has a little problem with, um, embellishing the truth.
Aw, hell...I gotta call a Spade a Spade. He lies. A lot.
He's freakin' six years old and headed straight for the Riverbend Correctional Institution! I have no idea where in Tennessee it is located, but it's featured regularly during Lockdown marathons on MSNBC. It's a bad place with bad people, yall. Real talk.
I do not do prison. Social visits or otherwise. I'd probably be willing to put a little money in his commissary fund, but I ain't hanging out with murderers and their girlfriends on the weekends. This cannot be our lives!
He needs an intervention, a coming to Jesus meeting, a scared straight visit to juvy... Something!
All the while, I can't help but think that God works with us in funny ways. He has a damn sense of humor, ya know?!? On any given day if asked what I consider to be the worst character flaws ever, lying, stealing, and cheating would be at the top. Every time. You might think, "Well, one out of three...," but he cheats too. Just try playing Bingo with him.
Seriously, though, I am a straight shooter. I don't lie. Hell, I can't lie. My feelings are always on display for the world to see. If I do something wrong, everyone knows it. My sister quit hanging out with me in high school because I ratted her out so much. Sooo many times I wished I was capable of lying. I sure could have saved myself from a lot of grief. I hate that about myself. No game face.
Consequently, I do not deal well with folks I can't trust. I don't like shady. Period. I guess that's why God put that sweet little liar in my life. To test me. He's my shady cross to bear.
Uuuugggghhhh!!!!! FML. I'm too old for this shit!
3 comments:
I'll pray he outgrows it. Being spawned by someone as honest as you, he surely will. Hang in there sister.
You're his mama. You will always love him no matter what and if he ended up in prison for whatever reason, you would go see him there.
How to stop this behavior? If it's as progressed as you say, I would consider counseling. I knew a family whose child did this and continued. Not a bad kid and not a bad family. Their child did get an eventual diagnosis.
Aside from adults who begin stealing to support a drug habit, most thieves didn't wake up one day and start a new habit.
I've had extended family members who would steal and for some reason lying seems to go hand-in-hand. And then they lie about things that really have no consequence. "R, why did you start smoking again?" "I'm not smoking." (As he stands in a cloud with a pack of cigarettes sticking out of his pocket).
It's no wonder that those in law enforcement will never give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Everyone in jail says "I didn't do it."
Honest people think, "Why doesn't someone just confess? I would think more highly of a person who would just tell the truth." For some reason they don't see it that way. I don't even think it's because they would get into trouble. They are just incapable of owning the behavior.
So, after this ramble, what I would say is continue on with the personal accountability theme and consult with someone who can shed light on why your son won't relinquish this behavior.
My sister was like this. I used to have to steal my shit back from her. Ugh! So irritating. I think that if you embarrass him enough (i.e. making him apologize to the person that he took the gift from and doing it face to face) maybe he'll realize that stealing things isn't worth it. He's young enough that HOPEFULLY he won't realize that he should really just be more sneaky and discreet. lol GOOD LUCK MOMMA!!!
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Am I right, or what?