The main attraction is my bedroom. Everything starts out there. Every night a pair of little feet trample down the stairs. Or if it's my son, two butt cheeks slide down like a raft on a water slide. Regardless, every night. Same show.
Typically, the switch is stealth-like. My son quietly sneaks into my bed and kicks his daddy out. Daddy then heads up the stairs to our son's room. Pillow in tow. He's barely settled in when our daughter comes into the room after being awakened by the butt contact with the stairs. (My son is a big, clumsy boy; everything he does is a bit loud and off-kilter, God love him.)
She needs him. He's the monkey; she's the trainer. Fetch some chocolate milk and a fruit roll up. Pronto. Oh, and when she's finished her snack, she'll need a back rub in order to fall back asleep. K? Thanks.
Ladies and Gents, may we have your attention back at the center ring?
Before you start to feel bad for Daddy, let me explain what's going on in my bedroom. True, they do not wake me up. First of all, they know I'll tell them to go back to their own damn beds. Second, I am NOT a hotel clerk and will NOT be providing room service. We're not talking about infant children here - one is 6 years old, the other is nearly 5.However, I do become painfully aware of the Big Top circus show later on when things have settled down. Just as I'm starting to really get into my dream about Brad Pitt, I am awakened by a forceful kick in the back. Startled, I attempt to roll over. Nothing happening. I'm stuck on less than six inches of mattress with my son's entire body slightly wedged under me. Not completely, for Christ's Sake, but just enough to make him warm and comfortable while fully immobilizing me. Ta-da! An elephant pyramid.
Shit! Not again! Dammit to Hell! (I love to curse in my head at moments like this.)
By now, though, it's about 2 or 3 in the morning. Too late to enforce my rule about sleeping in your own bed. Too early to get up and get dressed. Instead, I lay there. Uncomfortable. Ill as a hornet knowing that I will not get my requisite nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. The morning forecast for my high school students is cranky with a possibility of lethargic.
