I'm like the Hare in
The Tortoise and the Hare. I always start out strong. I love new adventures. New ideas. I'm an awesome planner. I see something of interest, and I am instantly hooked! I get everyone fired up (including myself) for something big...then...my enthusiasm...fizzles out!
Ku-putt!
Suddenly, I totally lose interest. Or worse. I get lazy, and don't have the energy to actually start. This is why I hate to commit to anything. Ya see, this overly enthusiastic trait that I have seriously contradicts my very dominant perfectionist trait. If I start something, I want to do it right. Perfect the first time. With whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Yep, little Ms. Firecracker always gets my ass in trouble. Little Ms. Perfect hates Ms. Firecracker. Ms. Firecracker's enthusiasm doesn't get the work done. It's Ms. Perfect's job to follow through. With a cherry on top.
Take this week's "Not" Mommy of the Year contest being hosted by
the Mommyologist (Bad place for a plug, I know. But you've got to go vote for her at Parentconnect.com. She's in the running for the Best Parenting Blog of 2010.
Check her out and vote!) and
Life Without Pink (I wonder if she knows how truly blessed she is?? Think PMS at 4 years old).
A-hem, please pardon the interruption. This post is sponsored by another ADD moment. K?
I found out about this particular contest last week, and was totally stoked. I may not be able to tell you what a Super Hero Mom looks like, but I can definitely pick a slacker mom out of a line up.
Third one from the left. Her in the ball cap with the beady eyes and no make up. Yes, her. Look at those nails; she hasn't cleaned a house or cooked a meal in years. That's definitely her, officer!
As is typical for moi, I contemplated for days about what I would do for this contest. I wanted to have the perfect blog. I wanted to finally embrace my lackadaisical persona and proudly present her to the world. Flawlessly. Ms. Perfect could not fathom anything other than the most impeccable of all the impeccable posts!
Monday rolls around, and Firecracker is feverishly planning. Tuesday rolls around, Firecracker continues to plan as she does a few loads of laundry. Wednesday rolls around, Firecracker makes the beds, brings G to the doctor and E to swim lessons, and,
oh yea!, ponders some more about the contest. By Thursday, Firecracker is gone; no one is home but Ms. Perfect, and she ain't doing anything without a good plan, some spirit fingers, and a little glitter glue.
Today is Friday. Ms. Firecracker is history; Ms. Perfect is pissed. All that's left is LB, the one who is absolutely NOT Mommy of the Year but cannot, for the life of her, figure out how to express it!
All I got is what I got, folks. Thanks for stopping by.
- While I'm not cooking crystal meth, I'm not cooking chicken cordon bleu either.
- G's shorts may not have BOOTY-LICIOUS written across the ass; however, she does like to dance like a, um, dancer.
- Neither of my kids are doing science camp or dance camp or Save the Earth camp this summer because, frankly, I'm too lazy to drive them around and we'd never get there on time any way.
- Although I'm a teacher, I haven't even opened the folder of "fun lesson plans" sent home in May. We may not be practicing our numbers, but I'm fairly certain E knows them. At least the 9-1-1. He proved that yesterday. (Apparently, not buying him that Buzz Lightyear car is worthy of jail time. Thank goodness that Sheriff's deputy was in a jovial mood.)
- My son, who will watch TV for 47 hours straight if I let him, is a walking, talking billboard. Why just yesterday when we walked into Subway, he shouted to the sandwich artist, "Subway! Eat fresh!" (The worker thought it was cute; I was a little embarrassed because I knew what the other mothers were thinking.)
- I didn't breastfeed because it was just too hard. *insert horrified gasp here* I got frustrated and gave up in the first few days. Don't hate me. (If it's any consolation, my daughter did drink a bottle until her fourth birthday. Now she has chocolate milk in a sippy cup.)
- My kids go to bed every night at 7-7:30 p.m. Even in the summer. What?!?! Mama needs a little TV time before bed, too.
- They both started sleeping through the night at 6 months because I let them cry. I tried all the "good mommy" crap, but it took too much time and effort. Crying took 2 days. Harder, but far more efficient in my book.
Nope, I'm definitely not Mommy of the Year material. I may not be "Not" Mommy of the Year material either now that I think about it. I'm just trying to make sure no one gets hurt around here.
Ahhh...my girl, Brit. It's really hard to top that one, now isn't it?
