Three Cheers For the Skinny Chicks...and a Freebie!

I cannot believe I'm doing this;  I have no shame.  I really want to win a Magic Bullet, though.  No, it's not, uh-hum, an "intimate" toy.  Get your mind out of the gutter!  It's a small blender!  And the maker is giving them away!  You have to enter to win, though.

http://www.stretchingabuckblog.com/2010/01/giveaway-magic-bullet-to-go.html#comment-6722

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

The weight loss fever is really catching around here.  Today, It was very obvious to me that my friend, A, was losing.  She said she's down about 8 or 9 pounds.  She's been watching her diet and using weightwatchers.com.  Her hard work is paying off.  WoooHooo!  Go A!

Last week, my other friend, L, lost over 4 pounds!  She's on the JC plan with me.  Yes, it's expensive.  Yes, you have to eat their food.  But, man, it definitely works!  Of course, she is a beast at the gym too.  She did a Biggest Loser-style last chance workout before she went to her weigh-in.  It apparently did the trick because she's had a big loss in one week.

Losing weight is so hard, but it is so much easier to do when you have friends doing it with you.  My friends, though I love them, were some of my biggest saboteurs.  Every girls' night out revolved around food and libations.  We'd get together, eat lots of delectable food, and drink lots of even more delectable beverages.  Ahhh...good times!  Unfortunately, my mid-section suffered.

Now that we are all on a quest to get bikini bods by June, the food fests have ceased.  They've been replaced by strenuous workouts and food counseling sessions.  Instead of grabbing for the last cream puff, we are eyeballing the scrumptious carrot sticks.  Okay, that's a lie.  We are still eyeballing the cream puffs.  But now instead of reaching for the cream puff, we hesitate and stop for fear that one of the others will give us the evil eye.  We are all hell-bent on achieving our weight loss goals. 

This makes me think, poor Kirstie Alley...  Have you seen her lately?!?  She is a hot mess!  After losing all that weight and looking like a goddess, she went back to her gluttonous ways.  Where are her friends when she needs them?  Why doesn't someone smack that donut out of her hand before she puts it in her mouth?  Why aren't her friends meeting her at the gym?  The possible answer makes me sad.  What if she doesn't have any friends that will hold her accountable?  Poor Kirstie...

Back to us, though.  We are looking good, girls!  We are going to be the next BRAVO hotties sans the plastic surgery.  Yep, I can see it now -- The Real Housewives of Tipton County.  The weight loss fever is definitely better than the pregnancy bug...

Raise Your Hand If You're Old and Fat!!

It's official.  I am old and fat. 

While waiting for the shower to warm up, I always get my clothes out for the day.  Nevermind that I do this in the nude and have to watch myself pass by my extremely LONG bathroom mirror to get to my closet.  Sorry for the visual, but ANY-way...

This morning, as part of my usual shower ritual, I went to my closet for something to wear.  While hunting, it occurred to me that everything towards the end of the closet has an elastic waist!  Since the end of the closet is closest to the door, the clothes in that area are those which are worn most frequently.  I have to laugh so that I don't cry because elastic-waist pants have always symbolized old age to me.

Mind you, my pants are still stylish (I think); they're mostly yoga pants.  However, they still have elastic in the waist!  I've finally gotten to the point where a zipper and a button are just too much work.  My once taut tummy is now more like a big, soft pillow making anything other than an elastic waistband very uncomfortable.   Ahhh...so now my wardrobe consists primarily of pants and skirts that do not bind. 

What's next?  Orthopedic shoes for my aching feet?!?!  If I start bedazzling everything in the closet, have me committed IMMEDIATELY because I've turned into my grandmother.  The woman never wore orthopedic shoes, but she did cut small slits in the sides of her Keds to keep her bunions from hurting.  I remember laughing at her until my side hurt every time she wore those crazy shoes.  If I'm not mistaken, she bedazzled them as well.

It just pisses me off, really, because I am the same age as Demi Moore and even younger than Valerie Bertinelli.  I bet neither of them have an entire wardrobe of elastic-waist pants.  Hell, they both still wear freakin' bikinis to the beach!  I, on the otherhand, have recently invested in a Mommysuit.  Ya know the one.  It's a one piece suit with so much spandex in it that you have to refrain from drinking while wearing it.  Pulling it down to pee is absolutely out of the question. 

My wardrobe observations actually produced an epiphany.  Why don't I get off my big, fat ass and fight mother nature??!!  I don't have to wear elastic.  Demi and Val (we're JC buddies) don't!  Hell, I've been sparing with mother nature for some time now by coloring my hair and using sunscreen.  Why don't I quit with the sissy punches and spank that ass?!?!

As a result, I've set myself a goal.  By the time we get out for the summer, I will have lost 35 pounds.  I will SCHEDULE (have to or it won't get done) my workouts and will go a minimum of three days each week.  Once I've reached that goal, I will buy myself a BIKINI and actually wear it!  I know it sounds crazy for an old lady like me, but I am not scared.

It's AMAZING what a little sunlight can do for your attitude...