Showing posts with label stop the effn' madness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stop the effn' madness. Show all posts

Friday, September 24, 2010

Dear Dumb-Ass

Dear Dumb-Ass,

Why are you in my life?  Why do I have to deal with you?  How in the hell did you get your shoes on the right feet this morning?  These are just a few of the nagging questions I'd love to ask but don't out of politeness.  And the love for my nice, safe world.

I do ask, though, that in the future you not subject me to your ridiculous stupidity while I'm in the midst of such severe PMS.  I nearly ate the legs off my kitchen table this afternoon out of frustration.  Your ineptness nearly pushed me over the edge.  Instead of driving to your house and beating you with the stupid stick, I ate an orange-striped Zebra Cake, a Rice Crispy treat, some Cinna-Sticks from Domino's, and 2 brownies.  You should thank me since my fat ass won't!

In closing, please speed up.  You are making my friend homicidal and not very pleasant to deal with first thing in the morning.  I'm sure you are a nice person and all, but, for the love of God, stay AWAY!  I'm just not sure how long I can keep from smacking you upside the head.

Hugs & Kisses & F-bombs,

LB