A Regular Valentine's Day Scrooge

Uh-oh...I feel my PMDD rearing its ugly head!  There will be hell to pay around here.

As most of you are well aware, I recently got the chore pleasure of spending eight glorious days cooped up in the house with my little hellions darlings.  Mommy was nearly committed to the nervous hospital on day seven, but she survived.  My kids and I had lots of bonding time while my husband got the luxury of going to work each morning. 

Each day from 6:30 am until 4:30 pm, daddy went to work while we were all stuck in the house.  While I was busy with incessant temper tantrums, agonizing time outs, and tireless refereeing, he was hanging with his friends at work.  I'm sure they were laughing and chatting it up as I struggled for 4 hours to get my daughter to take a 4 minute time out.  Yea, but he's got a job to do.  The man is bringing home the bacon so your kids can have food on the table and clothes on their backs.  Blah, blah, blah...He works for the Post Office, for crying out loud.  He's not doing brain surgery.

Any hoo, take my home confinement mixed with my monthly PMDD and Voila!  Complete disdain for the spouse right now.  Seriously...  It's a good damn thing he hid the steak knives from me during those snow days, or he'd be sleeping with one eye open.  He just looks at me, and I growl. 

To top it all off?!?  Do you know what he had the nerve to tell me in regards to our President's Day holiday tomorrow???  Oh, I forgot to tell you.  I'm going rabbit hunting with my friends.  I'll be back around 2 or 3 pm. 

WTF?  Am I dreaming or did that asshole my husband just say he was going to have a little fun on his day off???  Is he freakin' serious?  Does he enjoy the idea of carefully inspecting his meals for chards of glass or rat poison?  Does he care anything about the well-being of his children?  Forget about me, the fantabulous woman who brought his offspring into this world...  What about the kids?  Haven't they been subjected to enough "Mommy Time?"

Where's that bottle of Vodka; it's time to get drunk. 

He also had the audacity to state that if I would do some pole tricks cuddling, he might consider canceling his plans.  Wait?!?  So you want me to be a little submissive in order for you, the creator of half of their DNA, to spend time with your own children???  Is that it?  I have to prostitute myself so my kids can spend a little time with their daddy.  Screw you!!

I've got a new plan.  How about I withhold the goods until the real Easter Bunny stands on his head and shoots popcorn out of his ass??  Seriously, I've never resorted to those kind of tactics before.  I think it's silly and cruel to use sex as a weapon.  I don't mind giving it up a little extra from time to time so that I can buy something new.  That's not prostitution; that's more like showing my gratitude.  But withholding (this is where you gasp in horror) ???  That's awful!

Yep, but that's the plan...  Stay tuned.  If he goes hunting in the morning, it is on like Donkey Kong!