The Freakin' Pressure Is On!!!

I've been experiencing severe panic attacks lately because my class reunion is coming up. Before I explain, let me say, "OMG!" I've been out of high school for nearly 25 years! I can still remember what I wore to graduation as well as what I did that night. It feels like yesterday that I was partying at the Fiesta! But I digress...

The optimist in me keeps saying, "Wow, I'm so excited! I can't wait to see everyone!" However the pessimist in me, and usually the winner of my inner conflicts, is freaking out. I don't know how I will face them all looking like I do! I look like a big blob of jiggly flesh and fat! My baby girl is three today, and I still look like I'm pregnant with her!

I know it sounds so vain and superficial. I am extremely happy and feel blessed to have my health, a great life, a great career, an awesome husband, and two amazing kids. I feel like an idiot for even being so selfish. My God... Only Demi Moore can have it ALL! But I can't help it. I'm in a rut!

What compounds my fears is how fabulous my high school friends look. I recently came in contact with many of them on Facebook. It's awesome to see them and actually hear about what's up with them. (I don't care if Al Gore invented it or not; the internet is the greatest invention of the 20th century!) But it makes me sick to see how great they look. Honestly, some of them look BETTER than they did in high school. Is everyone getting plastic surgery but me??

Any way, I'm kinda feeling like that pathetic person who acts irrationally when feeling pressure. As psychotic as it sounds, I'm actually considering the bulimia/laxative diet that worked so well in college. Isn't that insane? Instead of setting some realistic nutrition and fitness goals, I'm leaning towards the binge-and-purge approach.

Someone talk me down from the ledge, please! Damn, I need a shot of Tequila.