I'm Going Under the Knife! (WARNING: graphic pics included)

I must preface this post by saying that the pictures shown are not me! They are merely some before and after pictures I found while doing research. They are provided for demonstrative purposes only. Furthermore, this post is intended for mature audiences. Parental discretion is advised.


Now then... I have been contemplating it for awhile, but I'm really going to do it this time! I'm talking about a boob job! I got the okay from my husband and go for a consult at the end of this month. Those of you who know me are probably gasping and wondering "WHAT THE HELL? Aren't those things BIG enough??? She's finally going to put someone's eye out!"





Relax. The girls are just getting a little renovation. I want to have them reduced to about a B cup, and then I'm getting a hydraulic lift kit so that they look like headlights instead of torpedoes. While I'm not quite ready to post some before pics, I'm sure you can visualize the effects of gravity, age, and childbirth. Let's just say, they ain't pretty!





My friend and I were talking recently about young girls and how they take those nice little boobies for granted. They walk around in skimpy tops with which they can't possibly wear a bra. A shelf bra or even a strapless bra are no more than pasties with binding. They offer ZERO support! If you are under the age of 30 with no children and are reading this, take heed and go to a mirror to check out those nice and lovelies. As you look, take into account that the gravitational pull of the universe is at work. With every day that goes by, gravity is working to pull your boobies to the ground. One day you'll wake up and not even recognize them.





I, personally, have never been able to walk around comfortably without a bra. My girls have always been on the gargantuan side. I was unfortunate enough to start wearing a bra when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade. Many girls were envious, but I was just embarrassed. At age 13, I was already sporting a C cup. I hated it!





Which is why I am feeling so jubilant now... I cannot wait to go bra-less!!! Don't worry; it won't be a regular thing for me. Once I get these baby girls looking righteous, I am going to protect them with my life. I'll rub them down with cocoa butter every night and possibly sleep topless so that they can get some fresh air. JP will be so giddy! It will be like Christmas every day.





I'll post the details for the bra-burning memorial bash when all the dates are finalized. With all my size double Ds, it'll be a full fledged bonfire. I may have to get a permit...