The Big G Speaks

If you don't know me and are reading this, you probably think I'm a nut job.  If you do know me, then, well...  You know I'm a nut job!

I went to the gym today after eating like a pig at a trough last night.  I was feeling guilty, so I had to torture myself on the elliptical.  As usual, I plugged in my headset to veg on a little TV.  I was hoping for some Jersey Shore or Teen Mom on MTV.  Unfortunately, all I could find was Dr. Phil.

Don't get me wrong; I don't mind Dr. Phil.  But when I'm trying to lose myself in something mindless, he is not my program of choice.  Since I always have on my big girl panties, I sucked it up and watched the Doc.  Don't you know the very first segment I saw was about a mom who neglected her kids and family because she was a Facebook junkie?!?  All I could think was OMG!  Am I neglecting my family?!?  I sure like the internet, and I definitely LOVE Facebook.  Crap, I have been on it for hours at a time when I probably should have been playing with my kids.

Oh, but that's not the end of it.  Since I hated the message on Dr. Phil, I switched the channel to CMT to watch a little Trading Spouses.  I figured it's usually good for a few laughs, and it always makes me feel better about my own family.  First of all, who signs up for this junk?  Seriously, you know they never swap normal families for similarly normal families.  Please...  It's usually the OCD clean freak who gets swapped for the easy-going, laid back hippy type.

The families today were no exception.  One thing stood out to me, though.  In one family, the husband was ALWAYS on his cell phone or laptop conducting business.  He literally stayed in his home office all day, every day, and completely ignored his kids.  I felt so bad for them.  Even worse, I started having those crazy thoughts again.  Damn, I spend way too much time on the internet.  Look at those sad faces.  Those kids want to spend time with their dad.  Hell, my kids probably feel the same way and want to spend time with their mom.

Why does God always speak to me???  Seriously...  Why do I have to be His fixer-upper?  What is so special about me that He feels the need to continually work at molding me into a good wife and mother?  Aren't there a few others out there needing Him more than I do?!?  I hate to question His work, but I can't help it. 

I have lived a wild and crazy life.  That is without a doubt.  There have been far too many occasions where I escaped something tragic and scary.  I could have been Natalee Holloway.  I could have been the Black Dahlia.  Heck, I could have been raped, murdered, run through a wood chipper, and dumped into the Tchoutacabouffa!!!  (For those of you who live North of I-10 that's pronounced choot-a-ka-buff.  It's a river down south.) 

I did stupid things and made poor decisions; yet, somehow I managed to live this long without becoming a statistic.  The odds were stacked against me; but, I was able avoid any major addictions or vices.  Hell, I don't even drink or smoke anymore.  Somehow I graduated college and even got a Master's degree.  I married an awesome man and have two of the most adorable kids anyone has ever seen.  I know for certain that God has always had a hand in my life.

But c'mon now...  Does He have to point out ALL of my areas of inadequacy?  I'm listening G; I'm listening.  Less time on the internet, more time with my family.  Thanks for the Divine intervention.