How to Be a Good Parent...Or Not!

I was just reading Tracie's blog at Stir-Fry Awesomeness, which she totally is!  Anyway, she had a little "list" about domestication and her recent lack thereof.  This sparked an epiphany for me.  Since I am a self-proclaimed child-rearing expert (yes, that's right), I thought I'd put together a little list of my own.  See, this all ties into my most recent tirade on which I refused to elaborate to protect the innocent.  Not the kid.  Me.  I don't give a damn about that little twit (just kidding...well, not really).

We teachers come in contact with all types of kids from all walks of life.  I think I've pretty much figured out what it takes to raise a child to become a responsible, mature adult.  I am also fairly positive about what type of parenting results in a serial-killing, meth addict.  For those of you with younger kids, it's not too late.  If you have older kids, though, well...play along just for kicks.

Some things all parents should know about their teenagers, but apparently do not:

1. He will, and does, lie.  Often.
2. She did not fail English because her teacher hates her.  She failed because she did not earn the requisite points needed for a passing grade.
3. That smart mouth that annoys the heck out of you has the same effect on others.
4. She is smart; she is not the smartest person on the planet.
5. He DOES have homework!
6. She will not die without a cell phone and does not need to bring it to school in case of an emergency.  If something happens, believe me, you will be notified.
7. At 8:30 a.m., he is in class doing classwork.  A text message to see if he got to school okay is not necessary.  If concerned, refer to item #6.
8. Reading is required.  I know it sounds crazy, but yes, even in math and social studies.
9. No, she probably was not the only one talking/cursing/sleeping/texting/cheating.  But she got caught!  It was still wrong.  She should accept the punishment and move on.   
10. If he says "we don't do anything in there" or "she doesn't teach," what he really means is "I don't ask questions or pay attention in class; therefore, I don't have a clue or do my work."
11. She is not being singled out, but she may be drawing unnecessary attention to herself.  
12. He is capable of typing his own paper.  Let him!
13. Fair does not mean equal.  Without going into details, the rules don't apply, and shouldn't apply, to everyone all the time.
14. Those are not his friend's ______________ . (Insert cigarettes, beer cans, condoms, etc.)
15. She will always have to work with a variety of people with different personalities and backgrounds.  Just because she doesn't like Mr. SoAndSo, does not mean she will perform poorly in his class and should be moved out immediately.

I love my job.  Really, I do!  And I think, if nothing else, it has opened my eyes to the characteristics of  a good parent.  I don't know about you, but I want my kids to be mature, responsible, and successful in life.  They need to support their old mama when she gets too feeble to wipe her own hiney!

It's so natural to want to protect your young.  As a mom, I totally get that!  However, incessant coddling and denial go beyond protection.  You cannot write her college entrance essays.  It's not wise to complete his job applications.  If he or she gets in trouble, let him/her accept responsibility along with any penalties that may result. 

Life is full of tough stuff.  Have you ever not had enough money to get your car fixed???  Not every day will be a good one.  In addition, bad decisions can lead to devastating consequences.  You'd be surprised how quickly a person matures when he has to "pay the piper" all by himself, though. 

Bottom line - quit blowing smoke up their asses!  Quit pretending they are something they are not!  If she has the IQ of a toothpick, she probably will not be the next CEO of Microsoft.  If his cumulative GPA is 0.75, more than likely Harvard is not going to be calling.  Above all else, just try to make sure that they are pleasant people who respect others.  Seriously, every single teacher I know will agree.  It is far easier to work with a sweet, respectful kid who is as dumb as a box of rocks than it is to tolerate a smart, but rude, ingrate with a 1.5 GPA that refuses to do anything but suck up the valuable oxygen the rest of us need to live!