My Kid Needs a Barf Bag

Spring is playing head games with me.  Yesterday was beautiful and 69 degrees.  Today is cloudy and 40.  Blaaahhh...  The kids were getting a little stir crazy, so I did what any lazy parent would do.  I took them to see a movie.  If you're looking for some outrageously expensive entertainment for your kids, you should definitely hit the movie k-nator.  For those who do not speak fouryearold-ese, that's the movie theater (duh?!?!).

Anylarceny, off to the movies we go!  As soon as we got there, I remembered exactly why we do not go to the theater much.  We went to see the non-3D version of How to Train Your Dragon for the low, low price of twenty-one U.S. dollars!  That's right, folks!  We got in for a steal!  Such great discounts are only available for the non-3D matinee shows, otherwise we'd have paid around $30 for one adult and two really small children who won't even stay in their deluxe seats.  My daughter should probably be free since she insists on sitting in my lap.  Hey, maybe even my ticket should be discounted??  Heck, I only catch about half the movie between her blocking my view while she wiggles and talks and the fifty gazillion trips to the bathroom.

So we pay out the ying-yang to get in the joint and blow another $20 on two boxes of Milk Duds and two small Sprites.  As soon as I paid, my poor baby boy started vomitting everywhere!  On my shoes.  On his shoes.  All over the front of his shirt.  All over his Draffy.  All over the carpet.  Puke everywhere! 

Not my kid, but you get the drift...

As I rushed him into the restroom, his sister slips and falls into the puke!  Her nosey little ass was so busy trying to see him vomit that she didn't pay attention to the slippery mess laying all over the tile.  There I was in the ladies room with two stinking kids, and I mean that figuratively. 

It seems that his nerves got the best of him again.  Apparently, #1 was worried that the movie would be scary.  We watched the trailers on my computer before going to the show.  He acted like he was excited about the movie.  He never said anything about being scared!  However, I should have paid a little more attention to his clues.  When we got in the car, he kept saying, "Why don't we go see Diary of a Whimpy Kid, Mama?  That looks so funny!  Ha ha ha..."

Yes, son.  It does look funny.  I can't wait to see it, either.  We'll see it next time, but today, we are going to see How to Train Your Dragon.

Those damn, fire-breathing dragons!  I guess it is pretty scary for a little kid with a bad case of nerves.  After we talked about his fears for a bit, while the puke saturated his clothes and the aroma wafted through the facility, he started feeling better.  Luckily, we don't live far from the theater so Super Daddy came to our rescue with some fresh, clean clothes.

He survived the movie, and actually ended up loving it.  I'm glad we didn't do the 3-D, though.  It would have been a bit much for either of them.

But my poor, poor son...  He is definitely cursed!  I'm afraid, like me, those nerves of his will cause him to puke during the most exciting times of his life.  While the rest of the crowd enjoys themselves, he'll be viewing the inside of a barf bag.  I don't know how I can help him, though.  Spare clothes in the car is about all I can come up with.  He's too young for Vodka, and I'm damn sure not sharing the Xanax!